Perhaps my finest contribution to Microsoft was The Battle Hymn of the Reorg. In the Spring of 1996 Microsoft had figured out the Internet was going to be a Really Big Thing, and we had better do something about it. In response, a number of groups were reorganized and refocused on connecting their products with the net, and we were all told that Microsoft would “Embrace and Extend” the standards of the World Wide Web.

Inspired by this new vision, I cobbled together a bit of doggerel to the tune of Battle Hymn of the Republic, and posted it on a company-internal humor bulletin board. Someone (I’ll never know who) forwarded it to the MicroNews, Microsoft’s in-house newsletter, and they ran it, without attribution.

I was, I will admit, a bit miffed that whoever sent it to the MicroNews left my name off the submission. It seemed rather petty of me to send a claim of authorship to the editor, so I took the opposite approach, feigning righteous indignation. My letter, at the bottom right, was published the next week.

The next week, they printed a response to my letter titled Abomination Indeed!, which neatly turned my own words against me. I will add that during that week I received several emails informing me that my letter was, shall we say, “inappropriate”, plus an anonymous phone call from someone who just said, “Get a life!” and hung up.

Well, this was just too much fun! I figured here was my chance to swing the pendulum back the other way, apologize to everyone, and heap ridiculous praise on the song at the same time. Two weeks later the MicroNews ran a letter on “Microsoft Munitions” that referenced my rant, as well as two other letters in defense of the song, followed by my “apology”.

At least the editor got the joke!

A few months later, the song got a mention (again without attribution!) in BusinessWeek magazine.

It has also appeared (with attribution!) in both German and French Wikipedia articles.


deanb, Apr 9, 2020